The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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