he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
