Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
