If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
