ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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