I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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