so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
