weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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