1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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