dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize