weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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