'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
