so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize