ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
