Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
