I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
