you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
