hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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