Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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