I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
