I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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