what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
