Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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