I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
