apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
