worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
