Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize