do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize