I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
