So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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