You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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