so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
