i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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