so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
