Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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