That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
