Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
