I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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