Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
