New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
