so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
