If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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