She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
