Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
