I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
