fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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