Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
