I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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