I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
