i don't like sucking hair
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize