last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
