for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
