I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Every concussion has its silver lining
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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