we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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