I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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