I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
