You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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