Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
