Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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