If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
