i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I touched a dick in church today
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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