batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
