all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
