So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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