the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
