i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
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