When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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