Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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